When a Man looks in the Mirror
orginally posted in October '05

To love yourself is to accept yourself and no one can define that for you. You just know. It’s one of those AH HA moments that are featured in O – The Oprah Magazine.

It has been a long rough and rocky road on my journey towards full acceptance of myself. As times goes on, I believe most of us change and this evolution sheds light on many things that we didn’t know about ourselves. We visualize the man in the mirror.

For some of us, we tend to avoid looking in that mirror, because there is a big chance that we may see our scars (flaws). This has occurred many times during my life. Unfortunately, some of those scars are for life, while many of them, can be fixed if properly treated.

I suppose there are a few people that are unaware of the wonders of Cocoa Butter. It’s not like magic, when you could apply the lotion once and BOOM the scar disappears. In fact, it takes time to heal, some of those scars(flaws) take longer to heal than others. But, we must also take into consideration that if we do not look at the man in the mirror we can never point out the flaws and tackle them, as God will. If unattended, these scars can spread and affect other parts of our body. (Think about it!) We tend to be victimized by the vernacular remarks that others say to us. “You’re FAT! You’re UGLY! You’re a FAG!” These comments break us down to a point where we start to accept them without even asking ourselves, is it true?

As a black man, I have been called many things. For a long time, I immediately accepted these remarks as truth, and denied myself strength to look in the mirror for myself. Others dictated how I felt at any given moment. Don’t get me wrong; I’m a bad mutha--- shut your mouth---, got my stuff together. I’ve always been a leader, but when it came down to it I was affected by every single comment that was given to me. This just fueled my anxiety, again, denying myself a glimpse of who I truly was.

Surprisingly, some of us will look into that mirror and notice many Beauty Marks, symbolizing our inner and outer beauty. I think sometimes, we wait for someone to give us a compliment in order to envision these Beauty Marks. We even wait for that degree, that promotion or the moment that person at the club we have been watching for months finally approaches us… to know that we are Special. The small praises that have been given to me inspired the faux idea that I knew who I was. These have been my excuses to avoid looking at that man in the mirror.

That waiting period for other opinions can leave us insecure, scared and restless. While unacquainted with who really are, we still continue to avoid looking in that mirror.

My association with someone over the summer planted a seed of fruit to nourish my body’s strength to turn the fyck around and face the mirror. It seems as though; I’ve had my back toward the mirror for a while. I stole split second glances at myself.

This whole year, I have been reaching my turning point. I was rotating like D’Angelo in the “How does it feel” video! (I wish I had that body, lol!) Starting from my back facing the mirror, I slowly turned towards seeing myself. I was scared, frightened at what I may see. As the blemishes cleared my reality and I was able to see me in my entirety, my revelation unveiled strength, gratefulness, love, self-love, spirit, beauty, happiness, new smiles, the past, present and my bright future. At the same time it showed loneliness, fear, anxiety, and envy in a way that taught me where it came from and how I must win those battles.

By viewing the Man in the Mirror, you finally see TRUTH. Your Truth. The vision of yourself is like the Phoenix out of ashes you are reborn. This Truth is realizing that you are not perfect, but accepting and working towards healing your scars (flaws) that can only bring forth the evolution of who you are to become.

After we have explored our nakedness and accepted every good and bad thing about ourselves, we have reached another turning point. We have finally realized we all have an Unconquerable Soul.

An Unconquerable Soul leaves room for fears and disappointment, including some brief relapses, which I’m sure I’ll post about. But, most importantly, the acknowledgment of this Unconquerable Soul increases the amount of hope, dedication and commitment. Gears are shifted towards feeling unbreakable and invincible.

The past couple of months, I have been seriously making moves toward achieving all my present endeavors. I have even been preparing for some future undertakings. Right now, I choose to face adversity, instead of ignoring it. I will gain strength with every trial and tribulation that comes my way. I learned the greatest lesson of my life thus far, MY SELF WORTH!

Since this has been discovered, I am unbeatable! Sho Nuff! I am unbreakable! Sho Nuff! I AM THE UNCONQUERABLE SOUL!

The past few months have been extremely busy for me. The endeavor I have been pursuing is reaching it's finale on Tuesday. Pray for me. Stay tune for my next posting... April 26th.

Peace