I'm late with my post. I KNOW! MY BAD!
I've been contemplating on a couple of subjects I wanted to address in my comeback post. I began a couple but couldn't end the entries. So I just decided to tell you what's poppin with me.
I'm going through a major transition in my life. The Endeavor I was pursuing turned to be very successful. During that journey I have gain many new outlooks on life. Being diligent was one of the hardest things I had to deal with. I'm sure I'll expand on that on a later post.
I've been contemplating on a couple of subjects I wanted to address in my comeback post. I began a couple but couldn't end the entries. So I just decided to tell you what's poppin with me.
I'm going through a major transition in my life. The Endeavor I was pursuing turned to be very successful. During that journey I have gain many new outlooks on life. Being diligent was one of the hardest things I had to deal with. I'm sure I'll expand on that on a later post.
This transition is like no other. Almost all aspects of my life are changing. This change is quite overwhelming, but I'm keep the faith that it's for the best. I'm choosing this life adjustment.
Currently, I'm on the prowl for a new position and apartment. My job has given me a great opportunity to assist those who are in need and I don't see myself growing further in my current position. (plus, I want some more money, LOL) The lease to the house my roommate sand I rent ends next month and I've decided to live on my own again... It's time to have some privacy to do you know what.. hehehe, sike nah!
Well, I haven't dated, touched, kissed, sucked, ate out someone in over eight months. I'm laughing right now as I leave out that little three minute bump session in Nov... but that don't count. I had a few opportunities pass me by.. but after having strong feelings and bangin sex with Dear Summer (my boo last summer). I know i'm better than a one night stand. Not to say, I don't want to kick-it with a play buddy. However, I went this long and will continue to hold onto my self-control (hehehe) until I get involve with someone.
While pursuing my endeavor, I had many brief moments of loneliness. I'm chill. Not press with getting into something with anybody. (this is big for me.. because if y'all knew me as smiling, I was feening to get involve with someone). It gets tough moving forward and wanting someone to come home to. And it's even tougher when you know the feeling of loving someone. Shyt is amazing! Aiight, I'm not going to go into it. But, I just feeling ready. Ready to get to know someone.
Knowing someone on a friendship level would be kewl too. I don't really have any close friends now. I'm dealing with it quite well. (that's how i feel right now as i type this, LOL) I guess because I've taken on mentoring seven young black men with one of my friends. They are from the ages of 15 to 19. And I love them with all of my heart. They are the main people that believed and assisted me with pursuing the Endeavor. It's kewl to see my impact on their lives.
My faith has grown tremendously. Since January, I have been through a couple of tough trials and tribulations. During these times, I remembered something Willie Gary said at the 100 Black Men Gala in 2004, "Tough times don't last, tough people do." So I went on to put God first and came out on top with the Endeavor. Right now, I'm praying for direction and understanding because this transition has been stressful. I'm on some type of emotional roller coaster.. I'm steady going up and then unexpectedly I drop a little bit and go back up.. and so on.
As much as I've grown, I still have miles to go before I rest......... well that's it.. i don't feel like editing.. I'll try to update when I can.
peace
Posted by Unconquerable Soul at 7:13 PM::
8 Comments:
Great post. Thanks for catching us up.
Congrats on your success with The Endeavor. I knew you would do it.
And you are mentoring. That brings great satisfaction. I know it well.
And it's refreshing to read that you are treating your body like a temple. Keep it up. No pun intended! :)
"As much as I've grown, I still have miles to go before I rest..."
Why do I feel like that particular quote was meant for me to read?
Good luck man.
It's always nice to read about somebody on the come up. Glad to hear things are going well.
We are all making big moves this year. With me quitting my job and moving to the new city, and you with 'The Endeavor'... I must say that I am especially proud of you, and how you have done the dayum thing with the endeavor. How many people your age have done what you have done? Not many... and if there is ever a doubt in your mind about yourself, you think about that. And stay focused. You have far more to accomplish. The person you share it with will come with time...
Glad that you returned. Good update. I wish you much success with your new endeavors and hope that you find your new apartment and job soon..
to answer your question. yes/no. when a past ex and i broke up i was still in love with him while he was not in love with me. but what i do think is that maybe he didn't love me as a boyfriend, but as a human being, ex-lover there is love there. i just think that it's easier for folks to say that "oh i'm not in love with you anymore," as opposed to deal with the complicated situation of caring/loving to some degree/in a different way than as "lovers" do. so what i think you are feeling and what i felt was confusion that "hey i'm not *suppposed* to be in love witht him anymore, whats wrong with me?" of course there's nothing wrong with you. i actually think you are pretty much on a good path. was impressed that you put all yourself out there like that - okay yes you were drunk, but still (lol) you seem at peace with the fact that it was his call at that point. that is a sign of strength in character.
so yeah, you might still think about him, but my advice is not to see him as the "ideal" because then you would focus too much on "him" but instead as a yardstick with which to measure other men by...which brings abouto its own set of issues actually so maybe thats not the best advice! ;)
good luck to you.
So glad to have you back in the blogsphere. We all have been slacking!
Good to see you blogging. Sounds like you are at a good place in your life - stay positive.
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